Viagra Blog

A man walks into a drug store and says to the Pharmacist behind the counter,

‘Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I’ve never had three girls at once and I need something to keep me horny… keep me potent.’

The chemist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with the label Viagra Extra Strength and says, ‘If you take this, you’ll go mental for 12 hours.’

Very happy and excited, the man says, ‘Gimme three boxes.’

The next day the man walks into the same drug store, right up to the same Pharmacist and pulls down his pants. The chemist looks in horror as he notices the man’s cock is swollen, black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places.

The man says, ‘Gimme a tube of Deep Heat.’

The Pharmacist replies, ‘Deep Heat? You’re not going to put Deep Heat on that are you?’

The man says, ‘No, it’s for my arms. The girls didn’t show up.’

A man dies “in the act” after taking Viagra and rigor mortis has set into his private parts.

The funeral director can’t get the coffin lid nailed on and has to discuss the alternatives with the man’s beautiful young widow. “I’m afraid that the only way to get the lid on is either to pay another $3,000 for an extra large coffin or to amputate his member.”

“Well I have no more money,” states the widow, “and it is against my religion for me to bury my husband in more than one piece.”

The funeral director thinks about this and then comes up with a brain-wave: He’ll amputate the member and then stick it up the deceased’s backside, in which case a more expensive coffin is unnecessary and the husband will still be, in a manner of speaking, in the one piece. The widow reluctantly
agrees.

On the day of the funeral, the deceased is displayed in an open casket.

As the mourners file by, one mourner places flowers on the coffin and a drop of water from the flowers falls onto the deceased’s face, looking for all the world like a teardrop.

The next mourner to file by is the widow. She looks down at her lifeless husband, notices the “teardrop” and says to him quietly, “See, I told you it hurts!”

Viagra can now be purchased at a huge discount under its generic name.

Just ask your doctor or chemist for the generic Viagra known as: Mycoxaflopin.

Below is a list of new drugs users of Viagra have requested the makers of Viagra develop.

VIAGRA-SKI
Wonderful for those who have a hard time getting up on water-skis. Forty-five minutes after taking it, you’ll get up and stay up, out of the water.

DIRECTRA
A dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

PROJECTRA
Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting anew one.

CHILDAGRA
Men taking this drug reported a sudden, overwhelming urge to perform more child-care tasks especially cleaning up spills and “little accidents”.

COMPLIMENTRA
In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing.

BUYAGRA
Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store’s return limit.

NEGA-VIAGRA
Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.

NEGA-SPORTAGRA
This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members.

FLYAGRA
This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra.

PRYAGRA
About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test subjects into special prosecutors.

There once was a man who could not keep it going with his wife.

He went to the doctor who gave him some sex pills.

There was a label on the bottle that said “Take one pill for a great night.”

The man thought that he wanted a stupendous night so he downed the whole bottle.

In the morning the neighbors came over to find the man’s son sitting on the porch crying.

“What’s wrong?” they said.

The boy replied, “Mom’s dead, sister’s pregnant, my butt hurts and dad’s in the basement yelling ‘here kitty”

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex.

The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her it is still experimental and tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner.

So, that night at dinner, she does. About a week later she’s back at the doctor’s.

She says, ‘Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you suggested. It wasn’t five minutes and he jumps up, rakes all the food and dishes on the floor, grabs me, rips all my clothes off and ravishes me right there on the table.’

The doctor says, ‘I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages.’

‘Naah…’ she says, ‘that’s okay. We wouldn’t go back to that restaurant anyway.’

One morning a long-wed couple were in an amorous embrace and the wife says: “Honey, that Viagra is so wonderful, let me fix us a nice full breakfast… eggs, bacon, toast…”

The husband says: “No, I’m not hungry; the Viagra takes away my appetite.”

Later in the day, the wife says: “Sweetheart, I want to do something for you, let me fix you a nice wholesome lunch, fresh salad with your favorite ingredients, steamed veggies, and some grilled fish fillets…”

The husband again refuses, “I’m just not hungry after using that Viagra.”

Long about dinner time, the wife tries again, “Are you hungry yet?, I’ll fix a steak and potatoes dinner with hot rolls.”

The husband still refuses, “No, that Viagra just kills my appetite.”

The wife then firmly says “well, I’m getting something to eat, so get OFF of me!!!”